In today’s world, infidelity looks very different. The internet has led to no-contact mutual sexual gratification with another person, live, on a new level. And similarly, long hours on the internet relating with another has led to “emotional " cheating, leaving a spouse feeling betrayed by the intimacies shared with another.

Infidelity, in whatever form it takes, does not always lead to divorce. Some people seem to overcome it: look at Bill and Hillary Clinton; listen to Tammy Wynette’s anthemic “Stand By Your Man.” While some couples are better for the experience; others might plod along in mutual misery until they eventually divorce or die. Still others will move on quickly. Tammy herself was married five times, once for 44 days.

What is the difference between couples whose marriage either survives or succumbs? Which comes first? Is a broken marriage the gateway to infidelity? Or does infidelity cause the marriage to break? I think it goes both ways. Either way, as the potential end of a marriage, the reaction to cheating deserves some careful consideration.

As always, I advocate an exploration and understanding of options before making any major decision. Do some research and try to gain some perspective. To get you started, here is an interesting perspective from Esther Perel, a relationship therapist, based on her experiences with loving couples who find themselves navigating infidelity.

Perel suggests that infidelity says more about the cheater than the cheated.

Authored by Cynthia L. Patton, Esq. This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. You should consult an attorney for specific legal advice.